“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe..”
– John Mayer, Dreaming With A Broken Heart
You may be familiar with the above song lyrics, you may not however we have all been there, brokenhearted. Living life, everything going seemingly well. We know what we want from life, have this image of our ideal future, we have a dream! Finally, we are moving towards said dream and everything is going our way. Then all of the sudden it happens; often times we don’t know what “it” is exactly, all we know is as we step back and look, all that is seen is a shattered dream, shattered heart even. Now in the song “Dreaming With A Broken Heart” the all of the sudden is the realization of a failed relationship. This may not be the cause for everyone but ultimately it comes down to this, expectations unmet. Pain is relative, so brokenness, can be felt by any of us though caused by completely unrelated circumstances. So what do we do? Often times we look to find something or someone to blame. The present condition of our life has to be someone’s or something’s fault. Of course things happen, people make decisions that directly or indirectly affect us and these can be devastating but it is not the end of the world, not the end of your world. Life goes on and your heart will not be broken forever. I promise. I have made it through.
A little of my own story to give some background. A few years ago I was working for an organization in Florida, managing their product, you know doing some entry level work while waiting for my big break. After a period of time my dream, at least what it was in my head at the time was about to come true. Let me take a little bunny trail here, when it comes to the dreams within our heart it can take time for the image to become clear. At that time in my life I thought I had my dream in mind, what I had was an illusion that was based upon my surroundings. I was surrounded by extremely charismatic “type A” personalities that were able to reach thousands of people at once and impact their lives. I loved it! However, it wasn’t me and no matter how much I tried I cannot fit that mold. It took time but I eventually learned that I am most gifted when am myself. Back to the story, my dream, all was shaping out perfectly then all of the sudden it all came crashing down. With nothing more than a broken spirit and a plane ticket I was going home.
There is this old Hebrew poem that talks about Love coming and mending the heartbroken, well at least that is how it translates to English but in the original language it means something a little different. The word heartbroken when looked at in the original language means exploded life, speaking of your life being in shambles.
When what seems to be the image that is your life blows up into hundreds or thousands of pieces, pick them up and make a new picture. While listening to a training seminar by Tony Robbins something he said struck me, he said “pain is inevitable, but suffering is our choice. Pain creates a well, it is up to us what we fill it with.” You see we have all made choices in our life that have directed us in a certain way, and if you are anything like me, things do not always go the way you want them to. To that, I tell you, a bad situation or decision is only a mistake if we do not learn from it. You see life is a series of choices; the goal is to get to the point where we are living proactive not reactive.
Let me ask you a question, when you found out that Santa was not real did you stop receiving Christmas gifts? Did you just disregard Christmas as if it never was? I was crushed. However, out of that a new image of what Christmas really was came alive in me. I realized that not all the gifts I got came from some big bowl full of jelly man that liked to make kids happy, but rather all of them came from Love. My family wanted to see me happy and see me smile so they gave me some of the things I desired. Likewise, God wants to see us wholehearted and living a live that we desire.
Tomorrow will only be better if you allow it to be. The thing we have to realize is that recovery is a process; it takes time and rarely happens overnight. However, if we allow each day to be a little better we will get there. I like to think of it like this, for an apple tree to grow an apple must first die. The past is gone you can do nothing about it, you just have to be the best tree you can be, you will never be an apple again. No matter how bad it is how broken you are there is still a dream in you.